We’ve all been there. The average job does not pay you enough to be there every day, rain and shine, in sickness and in health, but neither is it terribly forgiving when you want to beg off, either! Perhaps you have used all of your sick time, or, if your job is truly terrible, you never had any to begin with. When you need to be absent from work, the only way you are going to move forward without a black mark on your record is to make sure that you’ve got a fake doctor’s note.
However, passing a fake doctor’s note takes a bit of skill, a bit of know-how and a bit of bravery. People do get caught doing this, and it can cost you your job if you do it wrong. Check out these tips for doing it right.
Turn It In Right Away
When you want to turn in a false doctor’s note, don’t make them come looking for you. Think of how you would act had you actually had been sick, and the note was real. If the note were real, you would have asked for it from your doctor, and they would have given it to you. This is a lot of prep to simply “forget” it until they ask for it! Take some time to get yourself settled when you get back, but then make sure that you go and turn in your note. If you make them ask for it, they will be looking at it a lot more closely than you want them to. Save yourself some time and some stress by passing the note on right away.
Don’t Be Too Chatty
If you’ve been sick, chances are good that you are not going to be up for long conversations about how sick you were! Some people put a lot of thought and effort into their doctor’s notes. They look up the ailments that they were meant to have had, and then they want everyone to know. There’s this trick that human resources people use where they stay quiet and let you talk as long as you want. They know that guilty people have a really high chance of simply hanging themselves if they are given enough rope. Don’t be the person who blows their own fake note by talking too much. Turn in the note, be polite and move on.
Don’t Ham It Up
Some people see the opportunity to turn in a doctor’s note as a chance to play amateur actor. They sniffle, they make their eyes red, they cough a lot. Here’s the thing about pretending to be sick; it’s harder than you think. If you want to convey that you’ve not been well, just be a little more quiet than usual. If you are a woman, don’t wear makeup for the day. That’s all you need to do. When you are dealing with fake doctor’s notes, less is always more.
Don’t Talk About It
It seems like this should be a no-brainer, but regrettably enough, it’s just not. If you pass off a fake note, never ever talk about it with a co-worker or anyone who could conceivably talk to a co-worker. News travels fast, you never know who is going to be listening. This is the kind of thing that people love to use against other people, so stay smart and stay silent. It really is that easy.
Don’t Use Free Downloads
Between needing good letterhead and faking up the right illnesses, it is a good idea to go to the pros, that is, the people who are great at faking up fake doctor’s notes. However, it is also important for you to understand that none of those pros are giving it away for free! Free downloads are first lower in quality, and second much more apt to be used. If your human resources department has been around for a while, they will have seen a fair chunk of the common downloads out there, and they will bust you very quickly! When you want a great doctor’s note, pay for it.
Look for Great Template
Most doctors, when writing out their notes, do it using a set form they have in their heads. This is why a doctors note template is so important. A good doctors note template tells you exactly what you need to include, how you need to include it, and what you can just leave out. You are not a doctor, and making up something that just sounds right is asking for trouble. Get a template if you want to craft the note specifically for your needs, but then you should remember to take the trouble of following it.
When you need a day off, reduce the risks as much as possible. Follow these tips for making sure that you get the day off without risking getting fired, and just stay calm!